as you’re going…

prov. 16:9 “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”

Last night, after a pretty great, but a pretty long day at Catalyst, I wanted to dip out just before general dismissal to beat the traffic, get home sooner, and process some of what I had heard before sleep inevitably took over.

The Arena was full and there were lines of people forming for prayer. I know because I was fighting my way through them to get up the stairs. This wasn’t a scenario where I knew I should stay and pray with people, but I wanted to leave…I just felt the freedom to go. Honestly, it was weirder for me to go than to stay and shut down the place, so I hesitated a while before deciding I was actually going to leave.

Then it happened.

As I climbed the stairs, arms full, from the floor all the way up to the first level (it’s long), I passed a girl in a pink shirt. Although there were hundreds of people I walked by, she stood out. I knew she was hurting and I felt for her.

You may think this is normal for me, but I am still getting used to how God works. On this night, He made me laugh. See, growing up, I bought into a works-based faith + Jesus, so I am pretty quick to start “doing.” Only in the last couple years have I begun to experience the freedom of “being.” Being with Jesus, makes the “doing” look a lot different.

That’s what last night was all about. I was on my way somewhere else, and feeling pretty good about it, when God opened a door. As I tapped this stranger on the shoulder, she burst into tears. She was so ready for healing I don’t think she really cared who it was coming through. As I prayed over her, I really don’t know who was blessed more.

See, I think I have made “God’s will” a little legalistic. At minimum, I have believed He is sometimes stingy with revealing it, only that’s not true, is it? If you’ve grown up around or in the church, you already know that God’s will for you (and for all mankind) is simply to know Him. And that lesson goes all the way back to the garden. This truth is so elementary, I feel I’ve missed the heart of it: God wants/wills me to know Him. He wants to reveal Himself to me. He wants to show me who I am, what I am to do, and what He has for me. He wants to.

That makes me want Him more than all He has for me.

Here’s where I think something mysterious happens. As we freely choose to be with God– just to know Him, the things we want actually change. What you want to do, who you want to be with, and how you spend your time, money, and life begin to change because God actually starts making us more like Him, wanting what He wants.

Every-day-life-decisions still need to be made, not to mention the life altering ones like your Calling, Marriage, etc. But what if it’s not meant to be as hard as it seems? What if being with Jesus, actually means we can “make our plans” and trust Him “to direct our steps?” Even if you’re on your way somewhere else, and feeling pretty good about it, God may open the door you already wanted to walk through.

This entry was posted in reflections and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s